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I have been full of emotions lately.. Crying a lot and Feeling intense sadness. A friend died on July 12th and it has shocked me to the core. I have been trying to sift through my emotions, Trying to Sort them out so I can keep moving forward. I feel stuck. Almost like taking that Leap to find Joy is Scary.. But I know it is what I have to do. It is impossible to live with this much Grief.. I knock back a Magnum of Champagne as often as I can and it is not helping.. My Typical Vices are not healing. Either I Jump onto the religious Band Wagon or I just keep trying to feel better on my own which is not impossible. My First step is to stop trying to heal with alcohol, I will be giving this up while I move forward. My Second Step is to exercise, That is always a great tool to feel happy & Healthy. My third step is to SMILE! I need to Smile & Laugh more. I am a Truly blessed person and I often forget that. I need to remember to look at my children & Husband and LOVE every minute with them.. Because now I know for sure that life is so Fragile, It can be taken from us at any time. After every death I am changed, I Grow from it.. Even though I would rather go back in time to Stop these people from passing away I know it is a part of life and there is no way to change it.
This is a New beginning.. My heart will Heal with time. I WILL Find Strength to Keep moving Forward. & I WILL Love my Life. Always changing & Growing. There has to be Light at the end of this Dark Tunnel.
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ReplyDeleteYou have the right idea. It's always hard and seemingly pointless to go on happily when a loss effects you so badly. But being able to step back and learn and accept it while counting your blessings and how much you have right in front of you is the best you could do.
ReplyDeleteIt's never easy when we lose someone. But remembering them and realizing how insanely short and fragile these lives we live are is what helps us cope.
Hug your kids, hug Ben. Remember the good times with your friend. Laugh and smile. Don't try to cover up the pain with things like alcohol when the pain will heal on its own with time. While I know it's the hardest thing to let go of someone, know they'd want you to move on and not linger in the mourning of their passing, but live in the light of their memory.
My condolences to you and yours.
Thank You for your kind words :)
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